たばこの思い出[Smoky Memories]

投稿者: | 2023-02-14

 高校の時、いわゆる喫煙が発覚して停学になる生徒が大量に出たことがあった。ちなみに私は停学にはなっていない。もう40年も前の話で、あの頃は高校生がたばこを吸う事などさほど珍しくもなく、どこにでもある話ではあった。ただその時は全校の一割以上の生徒が学校から一気にいなくなり、それも身近な男子生徒がほとんどで、何だか突然学校が殺風景になったことを憶えている。

 だいたい停学になってから1週間くらいの間、自宅謹慎しながら反省文を書き、謝罪して復学、というのが一般的なパターンだったと思う。ところが私の母校は少し変わった高校で、生徒がこういった校則に違反して罰を受けるような機会を、人間教育を実践する絶好のチャンスと捉えていた。だから普段から目を付けられている生徒は、一般的なパターンにはめ込んでもらえず、先生たちからこの時とばかりに、たっぷり絞られていた。
 普段はどんなに悪い生徒でも、謹慎中は少なからず自分と向かい合うことを強要される。そうしないとやはりまともな反省文は書けないし、反省しているふりだけでは先生方に恐らく見破られてしまうのだろう。なかなか帰って来られず、そのまま退学していった生徒もいたほどだ。先生方は本気だった。

 高校の時の友だちと酒を飲むと、たまにその時の話になる。今でも仲が良い同級生の彼は、当時停学になった一人なのだが、あの時の先生方による指導方法で、大人になった今でも解せないことがあるそうだ。それは「一緒にたばこを吸った仲間の名前を吐けば、復学させる」という約束があったということ。残念ながら私はその場を経験していないので確かなことは分からないのだが、聞いただけでは、よくアメリカの刑事ドラマで観る「司法取引」のようなものに聞こえる。
 実際、高校生が「停学中」という精神的に追い詰められた状態でそんな風に交換条件を突きつけられれば、警察の取り調べ室にいるような罪悪感や押し潰されるような重圧を感じていたことだろう。恨みにも転じかねない状況だった可能性もある。恐怖感で周りのことを考える余裕など持てないだろうし、悪い印象だけが残っているのは無理もないことだと思う。同級生の彼は、「友だちを“売る”ことが、どうして人間教育に繋がるのか」という疑問が今でも解けないと言っていた。そう思っちゃうよな~、と思う。

 当時の先生たちを私が代弁する。「それぞれの罪をかばい合うことが真の友情ではない。一人一人が己の罪に向かい合い、自立した上で、互いに尊敬し合える信頼関係を築くことを目指すように、生徒たちに促したい」ということだったのだろうと思う。高校生がたばこを吸う事は確かに良いことではないだろう。しかしその行為が如何に悪い事かを説くだけではなく、この事件を通してそれぞれの人生をそれぞれがしっかり見つめるきっかけに、先生方は持っていきたかったのではないかと思う。
 教育は難しい。教師たちが誠意を込めて行うことでも、それが思惑通りに素直に受け入れられるかどうかは分からない。実際に、私の母校に対して憎しみを持っている同級生もいる。いや、誤解を招くことの方が多いだろう。しかしいつの時代であっても先生たちには、いつか教え子たちが分かってくれる日が来ると信じて、目指す道を進んで行って欲しい。

 友だちを“売る”って、強烈な言葉だよね

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Smoky Memories

 When I was in high school, there were a large number of students who were found to be smoking so to speak and were suspended from school. By the way, I was not suspended. It was 40 years ago, and back then it was not so unusual for high school students to smoke cigarettes, and it was a common occurrence everywhere. However, at that time, more than 10% of the entire school population disappeared from the school at once, mostly boys who were close to me, and I remember that the school suddenly became somewhat deserted.

 I think the general pattern was for the students to be suspended from school for a week or so, to be placed under house arrest, to write a letter of remorse, to apologize, and to return to school. However, my alma mater was a slightly different kind of high school, where students were punished for violating school rules and regulations, and they saw such opportunities as the perfect chance to practice human education. Therefore, the students who were usually noticed by the teachers were not fit into the general pattern, and they were squeezed a lot by the teachers just at this moment.
 No matter how bad a student normally is, he or she is forced to face himself or herself no small amount of the time while under house arrest. If they did not, they would not be able to write a proper reflection, and if they only pretended to be sorry, the teachers would probably see right through them. Some of the students were not able to come back and even left the school without returning. The teachers were serious.

 When I drink with my friends from high school, we sometimes talk about that time. One of my classmates, with whom I am still good friends, was one of the students who was suspended from school at the time. He said that there was a promise that he would be reinstated if he gave up the names of the friends with whom he smoked cigarettes. Unfortunately, I have not been there, so I do not know for sure, but from what I have heard, it sounds like the kind of “plea bargaining” that you often see in American crime dramas.
 In fact, if a high school student were to be confronted with such an exchange of terms in the mentally straitened state of being “suspended,” he would have felt as guilty as if he were in a police interrogation room, and the pressure would have been crushing. It is also possible that the situation could have turned into resentment. It is understandable that he would have been so terrified that he could not afford to think about his surroundings and would have been left with only a bad impression of the situation. He(my classmate) told me that even now he still can’t get over the question of how “selling” your friends can lead to human education. I guess that’s what I think.

 I can speak for the teachers of that time. “True friendship is not about covering for each other’s sins. I think they wanted to encourage students to face up to their own sins, be independent, and aim to build a relationship of mutual respect and trust. It is certainly not a good thing for high school students to smoke cigarettes. However, I believe that the teachers wanted to make this incident an opportunity for each student to look at his or her own life, not just to tell them how bad it is.
 Education is difficult. Even if teachers do what they do with sincerity, it is impossible to know whether it will be accepted as they intend. In fact, some of my classmates have a lot of hatred toward my alma mater. No, it is more likely to be misinterpreted. However, I hope that teachers of all ages will continue on the path they are on, believing that one day their students will understand them.

 Selling” friends is a strong word, isn’t it?

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