惹かれているのなら[If you’re attracted to it.]

投稿者: | 2023-06-01







If you’re attracted to it.

 I dare to challenge what I think is troublesome or painful. I think that in itself is meaningful. It doesn’t mean that the object is good for anything. But when you find yourself in a situation where you are subconsciously concerned about something even though you think it is annoying, or in a situation where you avoid looking at it but somehow have no choice but to be involved, or when you feel something that attracts you in that way, I think there is no way not to take on the challenge. It is obvious that you are already bound together.

 The same is true for relationships, and I think it is also true for encounters with work and material things. For example, an encounter with a good book is symbolic. The act of overcoming difficulties is noble, and the process and results, both good and bad, are significant.
 It would be a shame to erase such an encounter with something because of a sense of aversion to difficulty. In this sense, I feel that it is very important to always stay awake, or rather, to maintain a high level of sensitivity on a daily basis. I think it is necessary to look into our hearts and be aware of our honest thoughts.

 I am lazy, and even though I say such great things, I am always defeated by the difficulty. I threw away a lot of important things. Despite my wishes, I will probably have to run away again in the future because of the hassle. I am disappointed in myself like that, but such a useless me is also undeniably me.
 What I have gradually changed is that I have come to accept such a no-good me. I have come to forgive myself a little. As I move forward through trial and error, I am repeatedly surprised by phenomena that appear that I did not intend, and each time, I feel the scales fall from my eyes.

 I want to change after all. I want to change, and I want to get closer to the image of the ideal human being. However, the reality is that I cannot expect a dramatic change tomorrow. I have no choice but to change little by little, and I have no choice but to make it so that I do not run away from difficulties. If small changes accumulate, they may eventually become big changes. I would very much like to hold out hope for that possibility. When I think about it like this, I realize that every day is a battle.

 After all, we mustn’t run away, right?


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