旧約聖書のヨブ記を読んだ。私には難解な文章で、一度読んだだけでは理解できず、“少し読んでは戻り、読んでは戻り”を繰り返さざるを得なかった。それでもまだ分からず、悔しかったこともあり、結局3～4回は読んだことになったのだろう。細かい部分では未だについて行けないところがあるけれど、何とか全体像は捉えることができた。詩ではないのだろうが、詩的な表現が多くあり、またトピックが一節ごとに目まぐるしく飛んでいくせいもあってか、非常に手こずった印象だ。
　主人公のヨブは神を敬う正しい人だったが、ある日、神の許可を得たサタンに、妻以外の家族や財産を全て奪われてしまう。さらに全身を皮膚病に侵され、生き地獄を味わわされる。その究極の苦しみの中で、ヨブは神を非難し始める。そこでヨブの3人の友人が登場し、神を裁こうとするヨブを諭し、考えを改めさせるためにヨブと代わる代わる論戦を繰り広げる。あれだけ慕っていた神への信頼を失い、呻き、神への痛烈な非難をまくし立てるヨブに、友人たちは次第に語気を強め、論戦はヒートアップしてゆく。これがヨブ記前半の大まかなストーリーだ。

　ヨブを含めたこの4人それぞれには非常に知識があり、あらゆる角度からとことんまで自分の考えを突き詰めてきた賢人たちであると、私には映った。私の理解を越えた言葉や表現を使ってディベートする彼らには尊敬の念さえ覚える。私などが読解できないのも当然だろう。
　ヨブの発言の裏には、私には神への祈りが込められていると感じられる。神を心の底から信じたいのだけれど、自分が現実に苦しめられている境遇を覚えると、とても信じられるような状況ではない。「なぜ自分をこんな目に合わせるのですか」と神への冒涜とも思える言葉を吐いている。
　私はこのヨブほどの肉の苦しみに晒されてことはないので偉そうなことは言えないのだが、「死んだ方がましだ」と叫ぶような拷問の中で、私はヨブが極めて人間らしい振る舞いをしていると思う。ヨブが窮地にある人間の姿を表している。一人の人間がこの悲惨な状況下で、神を敬えと言われても、なかなか難しいのではないだろうか。

　このヨブ記を何度か読んでいる内に、ふと「救いがないな～」という思いに駆られた。普段から新約聖書を読みなれている私にとっては、このヨブの中には自分が死んだ後の「永遠の命」への概念であるとか、「復活」がもたらしてくれる希望と言ったものが見当たらない。また神さまとの距離が遠く、祈りや願いが神さまへ届いていないのではないかという疑念も生じてくる。当然のことながら、そう、旧約聖書内のヨブ記にはイエス様が不在だった。
　第5の登場人物であるエリスという人が、少しイエスの香りを運んで来てくれ、神と人間との仲介役を多少果たしてくれたようには思う。この人の存在が私にイエス様を思い出させてくれたのだろう。そこでやっと聖書を読んでいる気分が戻ってきた。

　最後には、私はヨブ記内でのイエスの不在に気づき、イエス様がヨブの時代にいて下さったら、ヨブにはまた違う役割が備わった物語になっていただろうと想像する。そう考えると旧約聖書からは、イエスはあからさまには登場しないけれど、救世主イエスの降誕を待ち望む雰囲気のようなものが伝わってくる。ヨブ記にもその雰囲気を増し加える役目があるのだとしたら、やはりイエス様なしの、このままのストーリーで良かったのだろう。
　難儀をしたが、私なりのヨブ記への理解が深まった。しばらくしてまた読む時には、また違う印象を持つのかもしれないことが楽しみでもある。これから旧約聖書を読む時、文字を目で追うだけでなく、旧約を生きた人々の救世主についての思いや捉え方にも留意して読み進めて行けたらと思う。

　イエス様が共にいてくれると思えないと、耐えられないよ

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Job(book of the Bible)

　I read the Book of Job in the Old Testament. The text was difficult to understand, and I couldn’t grasp it after just one reading. I found myself repeatedly reading a little, then going back, reading some more, and going back again. Even after doing this several times, I still didn’t fully understand it, which was frustrating. In the end, I probably read it three or four times. While there are still parts I don’t fully grasp, I managed to get a general sense of the overall story. Although it is not poetry, there are many poetic expressions, and the topics jump around rapidly from one verse to the next, which made it very difficult to read.
　The protagonist, Job, was a righteous man who revered God, but one day, with God’s permission, Satan took away all of his family and possessions except his wife. Furthermore, he was afflicted with a skin disease that covered his entire body, causing him to suffer a living hell. In the midst of this ultimate suffering, Job began to blame God. Then Job’s three friends appear and engage in a series of debates with him, trying to persuade him to reconsider his accusations against God. As Job, who once trusted God so deeply, loses his faith, groans in pain, and hurls scathing accusations at God, his friends gradually intensify their arguments, and the debates grow increasingly heated. This is the basic plot of the first half of the Book of Job.

　To me, all four of them, including Job, appear to be wise men with a great deal of knowledge who have thoroughly examined their own thoughts from every angle. I even feel a sense of respect for them as they debate using words and expressions that are beyond my understanding. It is only natural that I cannot comprehend their words.
　Behind Job’s words, I feel that there is a prayer to God. He wants to believe in God from the bottom of his heart, but when he remembers the circumstances in which he is suffering in reality, it is not a situation where he can easily believe. He utters words that could be seen as blasphemy toward God, such as, “Why are you putting me through this?” I cannot speak arrogantly because I have never been subjected to such physical suffering as Job, but in the midst of torture where one might scream, “I would rather die,” I think Job is behaving in an extremely human way. Job represents a human being in dire straits. Even if told to revere God in such a tragic situation, it would be difficult for a human being to do so.

　As I read the Book of Job several times, I was suddenly overcome with the thought, “There is no salvation.” For someone like me who is familiar with the New Testament, there seems to be no concept of “eternal life” after death or the hope brought by “resurrection” in Job. Additionally, I began to doubt whether prayers and wishes reach God, given the perceived distance between God and humanity. Of course, Jesus is absent from the Book of Job in the Old Testament.
　The fifth character, Eliphaz, seemed to bring a hint of Jesus and act as a mediator between God and humans to some extent. His presence reminded me of Jesus, and finally, I felt like I was reading the Bible again.

　In the end, I realized that Jesus was absent from the Book of Job, and I imagined that if Jesus had been present in Job’s time, the story would have taken a different turn with Job playing a different role. When I think about it this way, even though Jesus does not appear explicitly in the Old Testament, there is an atmosphere of anticipation for the coming of the Savior Jesus. If the Book of Job serves to enhance that atmosphere, then perhaps it is better that the story remains as it is, without Jesus.
　It was challenging, but my understanding of the Book of Job has deepened. I look forward to reading it again someday and gaining a different impression. From now on, when I read the Old Testament, I hope to not only follow the words with my eyes but also pay attention to the thoughts and perceptions of the people who lived in the Old Testament regarding the Messiah.

　Without the thought that Jesus is with us, it would be unbearable.