先日友人とランチをしている時、ふと斜め前方の他のお客さんが目に留まった。20～30代くらいの男女2名が向かい合ってテーブルを囲んでいて、恐らく会社の同僚同士といった感じ。デートではないと思う。私が気になったのは、その二人が座ったまま話もせず、それぞれがひたすらスマホに見入っていたこと。結構顔に近いところまでスマホを近づけて、ゲームをしているわけでもなさそうだが、特に女性の方は「邪魔しないで！」と言わんばかりに、ガァーッと集中していた。
　彼氏彼女同士ではないにしても、少なくとも男女が二人だけで食事に出かけてきていて、食事前に何も会話をしないという光景が、私には異様に映った。他の同僚たちが一緒に来られなくなって、あまり親しくない二人がたまたま二人きりにされてしまった状態だったのだろうか。それとも最近の若者のランチシーンはこんな感じなのか。一方で私たちは“恋愛関係にない”男同士の2名だったが、機関銃とは言わないまでも、二人とも絶え間なくしゃべり倒していた。

　まだ若かった頃、先輩のビデオカメラマンと、大きな機材を背負ってよく二人だけで撮影に出かけた。その先輩は本当に無口な方で、お酒が入るといろいろ余計なことまでしゃべったり、カラオケを何曲も歌ったり、大騒ぎなのだが、普段は本当に口数が少ない人だった。
　二人だけで朝から出かけていくわけで、そうすると大抵は昼食を一緒に取ることになる。定食屋さんやラーメン屋さん等に二人で入り座席を見つけて座るわけだが、入社した最初の頃は、その先輩は店に入ると入り口付近に置いてあるマンガ雑誌などを取って、席まで持ってきていた。私は当初、「そのマンガ、何に使うのかな？まさか読むつもりなのかな？」と不思議に思っていたが、当然私は食事が出てくるまでしゃべり倒すので、先輩が雑誌などを読んでいる暇はない。先輩は私を無視してマンガを読むような失礼な人では決してなく、「今まで一緒に仕事をしてきた人たちとは、あまり会話が無く、そういう感じだったのかな」と気づかされた。ちょっと腕が良くて名前が知られていた人だったので、部下の人たちが話しづらかったのも理解できたし、そういう権威主義的な時代・風潮でもあった。いつしか先輩は、雑誌には目もくれなくなっていた。

　私は何も会話が無い空間が恐い。特に知らない誰かと二人だけでいるときは、息が詰まってしまいそうになる。エレベーターの中などは「早く着いてくれ～！」と、ほんのわずかな時間でしかないのに、いても立ってもいられない気持ちになる。別に黙っていれば良いだけの話なのに、何だか知らないが、「気まずい」気持ちになってしまう。自意識過剰で、損な性格と言えるのかもしれない。
　でも「黙っていれば良い」という方向で片付けるのではなく、「何か良い“声がけ”をする方法はないだろうか。こういう時に相応しい、気の利いた言葉はないだろうか」等という考え方で、生き方の舵を切っていくことができればと思う。ほんのちょっとだけ心の持ち様を切り変えるだけで、私ならきっとできると思う。例えば、「何階ですか？」とか。

　そのスマホを、離せ！

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Awkward Atmosphere

　While having lunch with a friend the other day, I suddenly noticed other customers diagonally ahead of us: two men and a woman in their 20s and 30s sitting around a table facing each other, probably colleagues from work. I don’t think they were on a date. What bothered me was that they were sitting there, not talking and each of them was looking at his/her phone. They had their phones pretty close to their faces and did not seem to be playing a game, but the woman in particular was like, “Get out of my way!” She was concentrating on her phone, as if to say.
　It seemed odd to me that at least a man and a woman, if not boyfriend and girlfriend, had gone out to eat alone together and had not engaged in any conversation before the meal. Was it a situation where the other co-workers could no longer come with them and two people who were not very close to each other happened to be left alone together? Or is this what the lunch scene is like for young people these days? On the other hand, we were two guys who were not “in love” with each other, but we were both talking incessantly, if not like machine guns.

　When I was still young, I used to go out with an older videographer to shoot alone with a large piece of equipment on our backs. The older man was a really quiet person, and when he got drunk, he would talk about all sorts of unnecessary things, sing a lot of karaoke songs, and make a big fuss, but he was usually a person of few words.
　We would go out in the morning alone, and when we did, we would usually have lunch together. We would go to a set meal restaurant or a ramen shop together, find a seat, and sit down. When I first joined the company, that senior employee would take comic magazines and other items that were left near the entrance when he entered the store and bring them to his seat. At first I wondered, “What is that manga for? Don’t tell me you intend to read it?” I wondered why, but of course I would be chatting away until our meals were served, so there was no time for my senior to be reading magazines or the like. My senior was never rude enough to ignore me and read a comic book, and I realized that he had not had much conversation with the people he had worked with, and that is how it was with them. He was a slightly skilled and well-known person, so it was understandable that his subordinates had a hard time talking to him, and it was also such an authoritarian era and climate. At some point, he stopped even looking at the magazine.

　I am afraid of spaces where there is no conversation. Especially when I am alone with someone I don’t know, I feel suffocated. In the elevator, for example, I would say, “Hurry up and get there~!” And even though it is only for a short time, I feel like I can’t stand still. I don’t know what it is, but I feel “awkward” even though all I have to do is to keep my mouth shut. I guess you could say that I am overly self-conscious and have a damaging personality.
　However, instead of just saying, “Just keep your mouth shut,” I wonder if there is a better way to talk to them. I hope that we can steer our way of life by thinking, “Is there any way to speak to them in a good way, or any thoughtful words that are appropriate for this situation? I am sure I can do it with just a slight change of mind. For example, “What floor are you on?” And.

　That phone, get off of it!