学校や職場等で、単に「一緒にいた」というだけでなく、共に何かに取り組んだ間柄だとやはり結びつきが強くなる。私の場合、例えばクラスメイトより部活動で一緒だった仲間の方が思い入れは強く、また交流が少ない職場の同僚よりも一緒に苦労しているボランティアの人たちの方に愛着を感じる。
たまたま与えられた環境で出会った人たちだが、どういう交わり方をしたかで私にとってのその人の存在の大きさが変わってくる。関係性が長く続いたり深まったりすれば、益々大切な存在になっていくことだろう。もちろん反対に関係が上手くいかなくなることもある。すべての関係が良い方向に向かうとは考えない方が良い。悪くなることを覚悟で、困難を共に乗り越えていこうとするからこそ、絆が生まれるのだと思う。人生は厳しい。
神さまに導かれるように4年ぶりにキリスト教の教会へ通い始め、やがて洗礼を受け、今では毎週日曜日に礼拝に参列することが一つの大切な務めになっている。4年前のその教会からは、牧師先生をはじめ、ほとんどのメンバーが入れ替わっていた。会ったことさえなかった人ばかりの中に入って行き、当然どんな人たちなのか分からない。そういう状態から始め、およそ半年後の今には、私はすでに何年もいるような顔をしてそこに座っている。人生とは不思議なものだ。
週に一回の付き合いでしかないが、その教会の人たちに私はすでに愛着を感じている。心から共に祈りを捧げる行為を通して、私たちは結ばれている。教会で私たちは、一人一人が心を開いて参列しているのだと思う。そうしないと真に神さまへ祈りを捧げることはできない。
それぞれがいろいろあってその場に集っていて、教会に救いを求めてやってきている人ばかりなのだと思う。厳しい経験をしてきた人たちが心の底から声を上げている様子を見て、誰が無関心でいられるだろうか。年齢も経歴も出身地もバラバラな人たちが神さまに集められ、私たちはまさに神の時を過ごしている。
私は教会の皆さんによって、他人の見方を変えられているように思う。学生の頃にできていたことを思い起こさせてくれるような感覚。それは先入観に惑わされず、他人を素直な好奇心を通して見つめること。「この人にはどんな魅力があるんだろう」と、恐がらずに自分を率先して関わらせることを少しずつ思い出してきた。そのくらい教会の皆さんは良い意味で私を裏切り、温かく受け入れてくれている。人は自分が扱われたように他人を扱う生き物だと思う。
これからどんな風に皆さんとの関係が変化していくのか分からない。良い方向へ関係が成熟して行ってほしい。是非そうなるように私も努めていくつもりだが、人間がやることだから先のことは分からないのだろう。けれども今、本当に神さまの恵みに包まれて、私は教会へ通うことができている。感謝以外の何ものでもない。本当に洗礼を受けて良かったと思う。神さま、ありがとうございます。
入れ替わっていたのが、逆に良かったのかもね~
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A place where hearts are in harmony
In school, at work, etc., the ties are stronger when people have worked on something together, not just “been there” together. In my case, for example, I feel more attached to my friends from club activities than to my classmates, and I feel more attached to the volunteers with whom I have struggled than to my colleagues at work, with whom I have had less interaction.
Although I met these people by chance in a given environment, the way in which I interacted with them changed the magnitude of their presence in my life. The longer and deeper the relationship lasts, the more important it will become. Of course, on the other hand, there are times when the relationship does not work out. We should not expect all relationships to turn out well. I believe that bonds are formed because we are prepared for things to go bad and are willing to overcome difficulties together. Life is tough.
As God led me, I started attending a Christian church for the first time in four years, was eventually baptized and now one of my most important duties is to attend services every Sunday. Most of the members, including the pastor, had been replaced from that church four years ago. I walked into a church full of people I had never even met before, and of course I had no idea what they were like. I started out that way, and now, about six months later, I am sitting there looking like I have already been there for years. Life is a strange thing.
I already feel attached to the people of that church, even though I only see them once a week. We are bound together through the act of praying together wholeheartedly. I believe that each of us attends church with an open heart. Otherwise, we cannot truly offer our prayers to God.
I believe that each one of us is gathered there because of various reasons, and all of us have come to the church to seek salvation. Who can be indifferent when they see people who have been through hardships and are raising their voices from the bottom of their hearts? People of different ages, backgrounds, and places of origin have been gathered by God, and we are truly having a divine time.
I think I am being changed in my view of others by everyone in the church. It is as if they are reminding me of what I was able to do when I was a student. It is to look at others through honest curiosity, without being misled by preconceived notions. I gradually remembered to take the initiative and let myself get involved without being afraid to ask, “What kind of charm does this person have?” That is how much the church has betrayed me in a good way and warmly accepted me. I believe that people are creatures who treat others as they have been treated themselves.
I do not know how our relationship will change in the future. I hope that our relationship will mature in a positive direction. I will try my best to make that happen, but since it is a human thing to do, I guess you never know what the future holds. However, I am truly blessed by God’s grace and I am able to attend church now. I am nothing but grateful. I am really glad that I was baptized. Thank you, God.
Maybe it was a good thing that they were switched.