皮肉な巡り合わせ[Ironic Coincidence]

投稿者: | 2023-01-05

 昨日ある一冊小説を読んだ。この小説は以前に映画化されたそうで、ということはそれなりの数の読者を獲得し、また良い評価を受けたと言うことだと思う。私も読んでいて心を動かされる部分があり、忘れていた大切な考え方を思い出す経験にもなった。小説なんだけれども、啓発本のような側面がある内容で、少し物語の展開が上手く運び過ぎていて不自然さは否めなかったが、私としては納得できる考え方ばかりが記されていた。良い時間を過ごさせてもらった。

 ただ、この小説にとって、或いは私にとって不運だったのは、その前日までに「ナポレオン」という長編を何ヶ月もかけてやっと読み終えたばかりで、その余韻が抜け切れておらず、つまり歴史巨編「ナポレオン」とこの昨日の小説を比べる羽目になってしまった。いくら何でもそれは無茶だ。
 昨日の小説は200ページちょっとのもので、「ナポレオン」に比べると文字のポイントが結構大きく行間も広い(ナポレオンは1,500ページ超)。理解に苦しむような難しい記述がなかったことも助けて1時間半くらいで一気に読めてしまい、確かに良い本ではあったのだが、何とも物足りない気持ちになった。そしてイヤらしい話だが、その小説の値段を確認すると1,460円。費用対効果ではないが、「高い、勿体ない」という気持ちを禁じ得なかった。何もかもを金勘定で評価してしまうのは良くないとは思うのだが……。

 もし全く違う時期にこの小説に出会っていたら、印象はもっと違うものになっていたと思う。あまりにもタイミングが悪すぎた。読んでいる間中ずっと、私は「ナポレオン」の残像に脅かされていたように思う。この小説の中には「全ての出会いは必然である」という趣旨の内容が書かれていたが、何とも皮肉な巡り合わせのようにも感じた。この時点で私にはいかなる必然性も感じられない。或いはこの“皮肉さ”のお陰で、今日この一ネタを稼げたことが、日々ネタに窮する私にとっては幸運だったか。
 実際に昨日その小説を読み始める前には、長編を読み終えたばかりで少し疲れもあったので、本を手にすることは控えようと思っていた。それなのに何となく前日までの読む勢いを身体が覚えていて、そのままつい新しい本に手を伸ばしてしまった次第だが、これは結果的に良かったのだろうか?

 立ち止まって結果を考察するのは、まだもっと後でも良いような気もする。それよりも今、勢いや流れが私に宿っているのなら、身を任せて無心で動いてみることもたまには良いかと思う。
 そもそも私は普段から考えすぎる。自分の力で頑張って動いてみることは素晴らしい行為だ。私はそういう頑張る自分に、常に憧れているのかもしれない。しかし時には力を抜いて、目に見えない何かに委ねてみれば、意外なところからネタが降りてきてくれるかもしれない。今日はそんな日だ。

 いや、ホントに良い本だと思います

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Ironic Coincidence

 I read a novel yesterday. I heard that this novel was previously made into a movie, which means that it has gained a good number of readers and received good reviews. I was also moved by some parts of the book, and it was an experience that reminded me of important ideas that I had forgotten. Although it is a novel, it has an aspect of an enlightening book, and although the story was a little too well developed and unnatural, I found the ideas in the book to be convincing. I had a good time.

 Unfortunately for the novel, or for me, I had just finished reading “Napoleon” the day before, which took me months to finish, and I was still reeling from the aftermath of the book. In other words, I had to compare the historical epic “Napoleon” with this yesterday’s novel. That is absurd at any cost.
 Yesterday’s novel is a little over 200 pages, and compared to “Napoleon,” it has quite large characters and wide line spacing (Napoleon is over 1,500 pages). The fact that there were no difficult descriptions that were difficult to understand helped me read the book in one and a half hours, and although it was certainly a good book, I felt that it was lacking in some way. And, it’s a nasty way of thinking, when I checked the price of the novel, I found it to be 1,460 yen. Books are not something that should be considered cost-effective, but I could not help feeling that it was too expensive and a waste of money. I don’t think it is a good idea to evaluate everything on the basis of money, but .……

 If I had come across this novel at a completely different time, my impression would have been much different. The timing was too bad. I think I was intimidated by the afterimage of “Napoleon” the entire time I was reading that novel. The novel said something to the effect that “all encounters are inevitable,” which seemed like an ironic coincidence to me. At this point, I do not feel any inevitability. Or perhaps it was this “irony” that allowed me to earn this one story today, which is fortunate for me since I am always in need of stories.
 In fact, before I started reading the novel yesterday, I had just finished a full-length novel and was feeling a bit tired, so I thought I would refrain from picking up the book. But my body somehow remembered the momentum of the previous day’s reading, and I just reached for the new book.

 I feel that it would be better to stop and consider the result much later. Rather, if momentum and flow are with me now, I think it would be good to let go and move without thinking.
 To begin with, I usually think too much. It is a wonderful act to try hard and move on my own. Perhaps I have always longed to be that kind of hardworking person. But sometimes, if I relax and let something unseen come to me, a story may come to me from an unexpected place. Today is such a day.

 No, I really think it’s a good book.

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