歳を取って、私は非常に涙もろくなってしまった。若い頃は「男が泣くなんて恥ずかしい」と思っていたこともあるが、そうでなくても人前で涙を見せるということは、あまりなかったように記憶している。
　この「涙もろくなる」という症状は、私だけでなく多くの中年の人からも聞こえてくる。経験を積んで、他人のいろいろな気持ちが理解できるようになったのか、それとも同じ経験をしたことがある過去の自分を思い出しているのだろうか。ホルモンなのか何なのか、理由は確かめようが無いけれど、多くの日本人に見られる変化であることは間違いなさそうだ。

　先日、東日本大震災の被災地に赴き、震災記念館を訪れる機会があった。被災地には何度か来ているが、この記念館は初めてだった。今は利用されていないある高等学校を一部改装して作られていて、被災した時の様子をそのまま残している。壮絶で悲惨な爪痕を目の当たりにし、涙こそ出はしなかったが、言葉を失った。津波で流された乗用車が、校舎4階のコンクリート壁をぶち破って、教室内の生徒ロッカーに突っ込んだまま逆さまに横たわっていた。
　校内を一通り巡った最後に、ある映像を見せていただいた。それは震災があった日の10日後に行われた、地元のある中学校の卒業式の様子だった。その中で卒業生代表が、こみ上げる嗚咽を抑えながら、「絶望のどん底にいながら、何とか希望を持って生きていかなければならない」という内容の感動的なあいさつをする場面があった。それを見ていて私は、当然のように涙が流れ、どう処理していいか分からないほどグショグショになっていた。
　ところが、一緒に観ていた高校生の修学旅行客がいて、彼らの様子をふと見てみると、泣いている人はおろか、居眠りをしている高校生が多数見受けられた。きっと私と同じように泣いている人もいるのだろうと期待していた私は、単純にショックを受けた。同じような年頃の生徒が涙をグッと堪えて何とか言葉を発しようとしている姿を見て、何も感じないのかと驚いた。それもあれほど悲惨な現場を見た直後に。

　私が勝手に妙な期待感を抱いただけなのだろう、その高校生たちは私の願い通りのリアクションはしてくれなかった。その前にいろいろ見学してきて疲れていたのかもしれない。昨晩友だちと遅くまで話をして、あまり眠っていなかったのかもしれない。事情は様々あるのだろうが、何だか寂しかった。
　「若いことは素晴らしい事。これから何でもできて、何にでもなれる可能性に満ちている。」とは、よく耳にするフレーズだ。しかしもう一方で、若さは残酷さを併せ持つ。己の夢や目標に向かって頑張るのは結構なことだが、同時に、今すぐ近くにいる人たちに配慮することも大切だと思う。私の若き日々に対する、自戒の念を込めて。

　むやみやたらに先生が生徒に何かを強要することは、もはやできない時代になった。「眠っていないでしっかり観なさい」等とは言えないのだろう。生徒にしても、しっかり観たところで成績が上がるわけではない。先生という職業が益々難しい仕事になっていく。
　だがしかし、そんな時代だからこそ、生徒と先生がしっかりとした信頼関係を築いて、共に歩んで欲しいと思う。生徒一人一人が自分で考え、自立することの大切さを感じ取れるように。そして他者のことを考えられる生き方ができるように、先生が生徒を導かなければ。そういう教育が私は求められていると思う。

　何人かは、ジ～ッと見てたよ

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In the disaster area

　As I have gotten older, I have become very tearful. When I was younger, I used to think that it was embarrassing for a man to cry, but even if I didn’t, I don’t remember that I used to show tears in public.
　This symptom of “tearfulness” is not only heard from me but also from many middle-aged people. Is it because they have gained experience and have come to understand the various feelings of others, or is it because they are remembering their past selves who have had the same experience? There is no way to know for sure whether it is hormonal or not, but it seems certain that this is a change seen in many Japanese people.

　The other day, I had the opportunity to visit the areas affected by the Great East Japan Earthquake and to visit the Earthquake Memorial Museum. I have been to the disaster area several times, but this was my first visit to this memorial hall. It was built by partially renovating a certain high school that is no longer in use, and it still retains the appearance it had at the time of the disaster. Witnessing the devastating and tragic scars of the disaster, I was left speechless, though not in tears. A passenger car, swept away by the tsunami, had smashed through a concrete wall on the fourth floor of the school building and was lying upside down, rammed into a student locker inside a classroom.
　At the end of our tour of the school, we were shown a video. It was of a graduation ceremony at a local junior high school, held 10 days after the earthquake. In one scene, the representative of the graduating class, choking back sobs, gave a moving speech in which he said, “Even though we are in the depths of despair, we must somehow hold on to hope and live on. Watching this, I was naturally moved to tears, and I was so sobbing so hard I didn’t know how to handle it.
　However, there were high school students on a school trip who were watching the movie with me, and when I looked over at them, I saw many high school students dozing off, let alone crying. I was simply shocked, as I had expected that some of them must have been crying as much as I was. I was surprised to see them. They didn’t seem to feel a thing when they saw a student their age trying to speak in the video, holding back tears. This was right after seeing such a tragic scene.

　Perhaps it was just my own strange expectations, but the high school students did not react as I had wished. Maybe they were tired from the various tours they had taken before that. Maybe they had stayed up late talking with their friends last night and had not slept much. There may be many reasons for this, but I felt sad for them.
　Being young is a wonderful thing. You can do anything you want and be anything you want.” This is a phrase that we often hear. But on the other hand, youth is also cruel. It is fine to work hard toward your dreams and goals, but it is also important to be mindful of those who are right around the corner. This is a reminder to my younger days.

　It is no longer possible for a teacher to force a student to do something unnecessarily. They can no longer say things like, “Don’t sleep, watch the video carefully. Even for the students, watching a video carefully does not necessarily mean that their grades will improve. The job of a teacher is becoming more and more difficult.
　However, it is precisely because we live in such an era that I hope that students and teachers will build a solid relationship of trust and work together. I want each student to be able to think for himself/herself and feel the importance of being independent. And the teacher must guide the student so that he or she can live in a way that considers others. That is the kind of education I believe is required.

　Some of them were just geeking out.